Still continuing the story........
Well, we did tie the knot on that cold Saturday evening in February and spent our honeymoon in Myrtle Beach. I was so happy to be Mrs. Matt Jordan and begin our lives together! A couple of days later on February 10th, Matt's birthday, we received a call that my grandfather had passed away suddenly of a heart attack. The news hit me like a ton of bricks. We packed up early the next morning and headed home to be with our family. After the visitation in Wilmington, we traveled to Virginia for the funeral and burial in the town I was born in. In an instant we went from celebrating together as a family over a new relationship to grieving together in the loss of life.
So as you can see, Matt and I faced difficulties very early into our marriage. Four months later I received a call from the hospital at 5:30 in the morning that my husband had been in a car accident. Matt had been leaving early in the mornings traveling out of town to work and returning late at night. That particular morning it was raining heavily and his truck lost control and landed in a ditch. Praise the Lord his injuries were minor but walking into the ER seeing your new husband strapped to a backboard covered in mud and blood can do a number on your nerves.
After that incident, life did calm down a bit and we could really begin to settle into married life. I loved everything about married life! I loved being at the door when Matt would come home from work and having supper on the table. I loved waking up in the morning and rolling over to see that he was there beside me. I loved how he would open the Bible at night and share devotions with me. I loved hearing my name, Mrs. Jordan, called whenever I was out. I loved going on a date with him only to realize that I would not have to say "goodbye" to him at the end of the date. Everything about married life made me smile!
Now I know what you are thinking. Did we ever argue? Well, the answer is, "YES"! Of course we did! We were newlyweds. We were two people all the sudden living together bringing our own traditions and habits under one roof so, yes, we had arguments, or "intense moments of fellowship", as I prefer to call them. Lol!
Throughout our first five years of marriage, I believe God used the many difficulties and challenges we faced to shape and strengthen our marriage. When we were ready to begin our family but things took a bit longer than anticipated, our marriage was extremely tested. I was still living my dream, and that, in no way, included infertility. But as we all know, God has a plan and his ways are not my ways.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.“ As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
Isaiah 55:8-9 (NIV84)
Anyone that has walked the road of infertility understands the extreme sadness and difficulty that loom around every corner. It wasn’t supposed to be that hard. Doctor visits and medication month after month and still being heartbroken all over again at the sign of another negative pregnancy test. After a couple of years of walking that road, I finally became pregnant! We were beyond excited! I believe I walked on a cloud everywhere I went. That "glow" everyone says you get with pregnancy was a neon fluorescent light around me and I couldn't wait to become a family of three. Unfortunately, that was not meant to happen as a month later I began to show signs of miscarriage and through ultrasound, discovered that our baby's heartbeat had stopped. Matt and I were heartbroken over the loss of our child and facing every day was difficult. The next several months were filled with pain and heartache. Seeing other pregnant bellies and newborn babies were like a punch in the gut and the darkness was almost more than I could bear at times.
As summer approached, Matt got news that he would be transferring to his office in Garner, NC. This news actually made me very happy. I was ready to move away, begin again, and leave all this heartache behind. That move for us, although temporary, ended up being a time of healing in our marriage and ourselves. Matt and I worked in the same office building and we were together pretty much 24 hours a day. That was an absolute blessing! We were settling into our “new normal” and getting actively involved in a new church. God was working and healing!
Right before Christmas that year, I discovered I was pregnant again! We were shocked and excited! Once we had moved to Garner, I kept rescheduling my doctor’s appointments with the specialist because emotionally I wasn’t quite ready to begin the fertility battleground again. But God sent us some amazing news! It was hard to get too excited as my initial blood tests weren’t as great as they hoped but with God’s divine providence and some really incredible doctors, I was able to sustain my pregnancy. In August of 1996 I give birth to the most beautiful, BIG, baby boy! Ben came into this world at a whopping 10 lbs. and 1 oz. and honestly, the world began to look wonderful again. Skies were bluer; the grass was greener, the sun shined brighter and every detail to life gained more color. God brought so much healing in my life through that difficult time and the birth of our first child. I was wife to Matt and now, mom to Ben and nothing could have made me happier. God blessed us immensely and through that time of healing, I began to draw even closer to him.
“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.”
Over the next eight years of our marriage, lots of things were going on. God was shaping us into a family totally dependent on him. Matt and I faced some financial hardships in Garner and moved back to Wilmington soon after Ben was born. We settled back here and into our new church home and really began focusing on God’s will in the midst of all the challenges we had faced so far. Ben kept us on our toes, as he was a very active toddler. Haha! There were many days, through his toddler years, that I really thought I wouldn’t make it through, or he wouldn’t. One or the other of us. Lol! But we both grew during that time. I enjoyed my time as a stay at home mom and wife. In 2000, we were blessed with our beautiful baby girl, Callie! We praise the Lord that we didn’t have to endure the pain and suffering of infertility again and through her birth God gave us hope that not everything we encountered would be so difficult. She brought us so much joy and her big brother was quite protective of her (and still is ;). Our home was filled with a rambunctious toddler boy and lots of pink with a baby girl. We were blessed indeed! God had transitioned us from a couple to a family and that brought a whole new set of blessings and challenges.
“But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.”
After Callie was born, we decided that we were complete in our family and we were going to enjoy life as a family of four!
Well…that was our plan. God had a different plan in mind! Lol!
Join me tomorrow as I conclude the story!