I've been a wife for over 22 years. I absolutely love married life and I LOVE this wonderful husband of mine and don't take a second of this blessing for granted. But marriage can be tough. I don't claim to know it all and there are still many things I learn on a daily basis. That's part of the incredible journey of married life. What I do know is that I am called to love Christ first and also to honor the covenant of my marriage that I made with my husband and our God! I also know that marriages all around us are crumbling and that burdens my heart.
I am often asked by young women/wives how to be a godly wife and have a good marriage. Well, first, I refer them to scripture because God set the standard for marriage and being a godly wife in his love note to us. (Ephesians 5:22-33, Genesis 2:24, Proverbs 18:22, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, 1 Peter 3:1, Proverbs 31:10-31). That should be our "go to" in marriage, parenting and life! I am no expert on marriage and had plenty of mess-ups in my own, but if I had the opportunity to sit down with you young wives over a cup of coffee, there are some valuable treasures I've learned along the way that I would love share with you.
But, since we are not at the coffee shop sipping coffee and listening to soothing music, just go ahead a brew your own cup and imagine we are sitting across the table from one another discussing the beautiful blessing of marriage!
From one wife to another, here are some treasures I've learned:
Weddings are wonderful and most of us have envisioned our weddings from young ages as we fastened pillowcases on our heads and pretended they were veils. We dreamt of the moment the organ played "Here Comes the Bride" as the doors of the church opened and our handsome groom stood at the altar tearing up as we walked towards him. Then there were the cheers of onlookers as we ran through the rice that was thrown on us while being whisked away to our honeymoon getaway. And then shortly after came the dreams of pink and blue baby bonnets and rocking chairs. O, the elaborate dreams of the perfect marriage...the perfect family. Yes, yes, I had those dreams too and remember playing wedding and family on the playground in elementary school! It was so much fun!
My wedding was wonderful! My amazing man...even more wonderful! The memories are still so precious of that beautiful day!
But then what happens? Life continues after the wedding and there are some things we need to remember....
Don't forget that after the wedding is over...and the babies start arriving...and your "dream" has been fulfilled, that you still have a husband that needs continual love, respect and attention.
Life gets hard. Parenting, bills, jobs, and responsibilities all pile up but you still need to honor the covenant you made to that special man you fell in love with to have and to hold till death parts you. Children are time consuming. So are jobs and household responsibilities but never forget the one you fell in love with.
Continue nurturing the relationship you began with your husband when you were dating and cultivate new and exciting ways to show your love and affection toward him. He is the one that will be with you long after your kids leave the nest.
Love him. Love on him. Honor him. Pray for him.
The wedding bells stop ringing and turn into marriage. The excitement of expecting that baby fades as parenting begins. The visions of "white pickets fences" turn into mortgage payments and bills. BUT the journey of married life with the man of your dreams will continue and can be the most amazing and beautiful journey ever....even through the trials!
Marriage is a blessing and your husband an incredible gift from God. Take time to pause and reflect on how you fell in love and remember that anything worth having takes great care and lots of prayer!
Today, I am thankful for my wonderful husband! Matt, though the road has been rocky at times over our 22 years, navigating our marriage through the pages of scripture and the lens of Christ has been the best days of my life. I love you more today than the day we said, "I do"! There is no one else I would rather spend the rest of my life with and I look forward to continuing every day with YOU!